Hand To Hold
by Lilly117
Summary: My take on episode 4x10. Deacon and Rayna centric. Heavily based on spoilers !


**Hey y'all :) This one's gonna be just a little OS, because the anticipation for this weeks episode is killing me and I just wanted to write down my wishes for what might (hopefully) happen on the show on wednesday. Since I'm not a native speaker and I just wrote this for myself in the first place, you might probably find some mistakes in it. I apologize for that and hope you can enjoy this one anyways. I don't own Nashville or any of the characters and I have no intention on earning money with this. It's just a little something I wrote to pass the time and I decided to share it with you, because I know that there are many Nashies out there who feel the same way I do.**

 **THIS IS HEAVILY BASED ON SPOILERS !**

 **Hand To Hold**

When Rayna walked into the Beverly, the bar was already crowded. Letting her eyes wander through the room she spotted a few familiar faces. Scarlett and Gunnar were there, Avery Barkley and some of Deacon's long-time friends. She even found the girls, sitting on the pews in front of the stage and chatting away happily with Frankie's daughter Cash. Deacon had introduced them to each other at Markus' concert yesterday and especially Maddie seemed to have taken a liking to the blonde woman, who only was a few years older than her.

Seeing her daughters so happy and carefree brought a smile to Rayna's face that disappeared as soon as her eyes found Deacon's. Standing on the side of the stage, near the delivery entrance, he shot her a cold glance and turned around when he saw Rayna walking towards him. Before she could reach him he opened the door next to him and walked out of the bar. Rayna followed him, letting the door behind her snap shut.

Breathing in the cold Nashville evening air she approached Deacon, who had his back turned to her.

"Are you giving me the silent treatment now? Cause I'd rather you just tell me what's bothering you," Rayna asked.

Deacon, however, just shrugged his shoulders and remained silent. Sighing, Rayna ran her hand over her forehead and took a deep breath. "Fine, okay. I assume this is still about what happened with Markus yesterday, but I just don't know what you wanna hear. We talked about this last week and last night already and I meant every word I said, babe."

Hearing Markus' name again made Deacon's blood boil and brought his jealousy back to the surface. Turning around he faced Rayna and angrily asked, "Oh yeah, you meant every word you said? Then why did you end up on that roof with him?"

"I told you yesterday. It was a great show, the people loved it and we just wanted to celebrate. I didn't know he was gonna try to kiss me. I thought I had made myself pretty clear last week when I told him that you're my guy and that he better back off," Rayna replied.

"Well apparently that wasn't clear enough for him," Deacon hissed and turned around again.

"Excuse me? Are you trying to blame me for what he did?" Rayna indignantly asked.

"Oh come on, don't kid yourself. He asks you to come on a roof with him, just the two of you, to celebrate his success and you just follow him. You ain't stupid, Ray. You knew exactly where this would lead and you willingly agreed to play along." The minute he finished his sentence, Deacon knew that his jealousy had gotten the best of him again and he sounded a lot more reproachful than he intended. Before he could say something, though, Rayna began to speak.

"You know what? I'm so tired of fighting with you. I can't do this with you right now. I'm sorry!" Looking at him one last time she walked past him and left him standing in the darkness of the late evening alone.

* * *

Realizing that he had clearly been out of line this time, Deacon considered following her, but decided differently. He let out a deep breath and thought about the conversation they'd had yesterday.

The girls and he had left almost immediately after Markus' concert since it was a school night and Rayna didn't want them staying up too long. He wanted to wait for Rayna to get home, but fell asleep on the couch while watching some boring late night show. By the time she got home it was almost 2 am and he woke with a start when she tossed her purse on the kitchen counter. Her facial expression softened when she saw him on the couch and he could tell she felt sorry for waking him up. While he sat up on the couch she went to sit with him, resting her head on his shoulder and taking his right hand in both of hers.

"I'm sorry I woke you, babe. I thought you went to bed already," she said softly.

"Didn't wanna go to bed without you," he replied and placed a kiss on her hair. "Markus killed it tonight, didn't he? Did y'all celebrate the success properly?" he added.

Rayna sighed. "Yeah well, not exactly. Actually, there's something I need to tell you."

She told him how Markus had asked her to come up on that roof with him, that both of them were so excited and enthusiastic about the great show and that eventually, he tried to kiss her. According to Rayna she slapped him the second she felt his lips on hers and told him to respect her boundaries if he wanted their collaboration to work. Deacon didn't know what else she told him after that, because as soon as he heard Markus and kiss in one sentence, he lost all common sense.

He wasn't mad at Rayna in that moment. He trusted her and deep down he knew that she would never cheat on him, but his old demons brought back the insecurities about their relationship. Having another guy hit on her made the fear of losing her even worse and he couldn't help but react the way he always did. He shut her out, kept his anger and his worries bottled up inside and tried to avoid her the following day. It had worked out pretty well until she showed up at the bar a few minutes ago and he was reminded again of what he had planned for tonight. This time, though, he was in control of his destiny and he was determined not to let anything or anyone get in his way. Having made this decision he quickly went inside to get his jacket and told Frankie that he would be missing in action for a while, but be back in time to perform with Scarlett. When he left the bar and noticed Rayna's car still standing in the parking lot, he knew immediately where she went. Making sure the important item was still in the pocket of his jacket he didn't want to lose any more time and quickly headed towards the John Seigenthaler pedestrian bridge.

* * *

Once he got there he saw Rayna standing on the far end of the bridge. She didn't notice him until he got closer and leaned against the handrail of the bridge. Turning her head so she was facing him, she simply said, "Hey."

"Hey," he replied and for a few seconds silence filled the air around them again. Both of them let their eyes wander to the illuminated skyline of Nashville to their right and they dwelled on their own thoughts for a minute.

It's funny, Deacon thought, how this usually crowded place had always been a refuge for them where they ended up talking about things they only wanted to share with each other. It had become a special place for them over the years and Deacon knew that this was the right time and place to ask her to become his wife. Before that, he had to set a few other things straight with her, though.

"Babe, I'm sorry I got all heated again. I didn't want to, but hearing that he kissed you kinda rang my alarm bells, I guess," he began.

Rayna nodded. "I know. And I get that you are mad at him. I was mad at him too, I still am, but I don't understand why you're punishing me for that. You know, you acting like that, it hurts," Rayna acknowledged.

Feeling guilt creeping up on him, Deacon focused his eyes on the Cumberland River beneath them and tried to find the right words for what he wanted to say.

"Babe I … you remember what I told you once? That I changed. That I am a different man. That's true, but sometimes I just fall back into these old patterns and I get jealous and insecure and … I don't wanna hurt you. That's the last thing I wanna do, but sometimes I feel a little lost here and I just need you to be patient and to show me how to handle these situations the right way."

Searching his eyes with hers Rayna looked right into his beautiful blue eyes and reached for his hand. "Babe there is no reason for you to be jealous. I love you. I love you with all of my heart and that is never gonna change. And I have been patient with you all of my life and that isn't gonna change either, because I know that's it's worth it," she assured him and added, "And now let's just go back to that bar of yours. This is your special night. You don't wanna miss the Grand Opening." She still held his hand and tried to pull him away from the handrail, but he pulled her back and took her other hand in his as well.

"Actually", he began, "this is part of why I got so upset earlier," he explained.

Rayna looked confused. "I don't understand. What do you mean?"

"Well you know. This bar means a lot to me and I've been looking forward to this day for quite a while now and so … I sure as hell didn't want to fight with you today …," he spoke.

"Okay, so let's just go back and celebrate. I bet people are already wondering where you are," Rayna suggested.

Deacon couldn't hide a smile when he realized that Rayna still had no clue what he was about to ask her.

"I guess you were right. This is a very special night for me, but the opening is only a very small part of that ..." he went on, but was interrupted by Rayna again.

"What'd you mean ?" she asked curiously.

The smile on his face got even bigger and he couldn't resist and steal a quick kiss from her lips.

"I know I've asked you before and we've already talked about this, but I don't wanna wait anymore, baby. I love you and I'm now more sure than ever that I want this life with you. I want us and the girls to be a family, I wanna be your partner in everything and I just wanna make this official. So …," he let go of Rayna's hands and reached for the little box in his pocket. Kneeling down he opened the box and asked. "Will you marry me ?"

Rayna held her breath and put one hand on her mouth. Looking at the wonderful man in front of her and the beautiful ring he held in his hands, Rayna felt tears of surprise and joy making their way to her eyes. Instead of answering she bent down, put both of her hands on Deacon's face and kissed him. Kissing him with all the love and passion she felt for him Rayna slowly got up and pulled Deacon with her, never taking her lips off of his. When both them were in a standing position again, Deacon reluctantly pulled away from the kiss and teased. "I think I have a pretty good idea now of what your answer is gonna be, but you didn't actually say it ..."

Rayna smiled at him and laughed a little, before she finally said the three powerful words. "Yes, I will."

Chuckling, Deacon reached for her left hand and carefully placed the ring where it belonged. Rayna watched this intimate action in awe and felt her heart beating a little faster than usual when the ring finally sat on her finger. Feeling overwhelmed with love and happiness she couldn't hold back the tears that slowly made their way across her cheek. Deacon brushed them away with his thumb and placed tender kisses where the tears had left a wet trail. Burying one hand in his hair Rayna pulled him even closer, so that their noses were touching and they could feel each others hot breath against their own skin. They shared this intimate moment for which no words were needed and let a few minutes pass by, neither of them wanting to miss each other's closeness.

It was Rayna who finally took a step back and looked at Deacon. "You surprised the hell outta me, you know that, right ?"

"That was my plan. Guess, I must be a pretty smart man that it worked," Deacon laughed.

"Yep, you sure are," Rayna said and leaned in for another kiss. "A smart man with an excellent taste in engagement rings," she complimented.

Smiling, Deacon took her left hand in his once again and looked at the ring. "You know, I thought a new ring could mean a fresh start. There are too many painful memories attached to that eternity band I gave you. I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not. I still love that old ring, but this one's perfect," she assured him. "You mentioned something about making this official earlier," she then changed the topic. "How 'bout we do it now? We've got all the people we care about in one room together at the Beverly, so this seems like the perfect opportunity, doesn't it?" she suggested.

"It does, but are you sure about this?" he asked.

Taking his hand and nodding encouragingly all she said was, "Yeah, I am."

* * *

As they walked into the Beverly, hand in hand, no one really took notice of them. They stood by the door for a few minutes when Scarlett spotted them. Smiling brightly she made eye contact with Deacon and pointed to the stage, where no one was playing at the moment. He instantly understood what she meant and nodded. Giving Rayna a quick kiss he headed towards the stage and went straight for the mic.

"Y'all, may I have your attention for a few minutes, please," he began.

Everyone turned towards the stage and some people cheered when they saw Deacon standing there.

"I'm not the kinda guy that gives long speeches, but I really wanted to thank everyone for coming out tonight and celebrating with us.

"Most of you may know that Beverly was my sister and that I wanna honor her with this bar," he paused and let the people clap and cheer for a moment.

"Back where I come from, in Natchez, they have this bar where my sister sang every week. The people there were her friends and that place kinda was her safe haven and a place where she could feel a little closer to the life she always dreamed of.

"I don't know if this bar here will ever be something like this to anyone of you, but I do hope that it will become a place where we can enjoy music together and just have a good time with the best people."

Another round of applause filled the room and interrupted Deacon's speech. Waiting for the noise to die down again, he went on. "Sorry y'all. I told you I wasn't the kinda guy for speeches and here I am, doing it anyway. I'm gonna keep this real short, but there's one last thing I wanted to share with y'all before I let the music do the talking.

"You might know that this day is a very special one for me. I gotta admit, though, that it is not only because of the Grand Opening here." Deacon made a small break and focused his eyes on Rayna.

"I'm a very lucky man tonight, y'all, 'cause a few minutes ago I asked the love of my life to become my wife and she actually said yes this time." Hearing the crowd cheer loudly, Deacon had only eyes for his fiancee. He didn't take his eyes off of her when he continued. "There might have been a slight change of plans tonight, but I couldn't imagine a better moment for this next song. I wrote this one with my wonderful niece Scarlett, who is gonna join me in a minute. It's called "Hand To Hold" and this is for you, baby. I love you."

 _Cause when the sky comes crashing down_

 _Baby all you need to know is_

 _You got a hand to hold_

* * *

 **Thanks for the edit, Rachel !**


End file.
